So Where Have I Been All This Time?

Honestly, I’ve got a very good excuse for not having much a presence here lately. As you can see, I’ve been taken in by a cult populated by strange and unusual characters:

The blond-ish older woman in the second row of the group is our leader. We call her the Great Intergalactic Space Mother.

She’s an emissary from the Gorflon galaxy, who has taken human form and lives among us to prepare our planet for the coming of her Gorflonian brothers and sisters, whom we call the Great Intergalactic Space Aunts and Uncles. They have a wondrous message of peace and harmony for this planet, which they will share as soon as we are prepared to receive it.

Great Intergalactic Space Mother is teaching us the Gorflonian philosophies to get us all ready. I’m still too much of a neophyte to grasp it all, but the part that I do understand has taught me that the color maroon is deeply, intrinsically evil and must be destroyed. Only when Earth has been cleansed of this color will the Great Intergalactic Space Aunts and Uncles be able to walk among us.

As you can imagine what with all the alms begging, flower selling, and secret missions to pour grey paint on maroon cars, I’ve had little time for blogging. Great Intergalactic Space Mother says that if I prove myself with the car cleansing, then I can graduate to stealing and burning maroon clothing. This would all be so much easier if we didn’t have to wait until the dead of night to undertake our missions. It seems many of the unbelievers consider our acts of purification to be vandalism. Great Intergalactic Space Mother says that we will have to endure our share of persecutions, but we do so gladly and with a benevolent heart, because we know that in the end the Great Intergalactic Space Aunts and Uncles will bring great benefits to all of humanity.

I know it all sounds a little strange, but don't worry about me. The group has been very good. Infact, they've become like a family to me!