Tales from the Pavement

As last week's sidewalk sale fades into happy memory and preparations start for the next one (July 12 if anyone happens to be in the area), the time has come to share the stories from the sale.  Anything that involves people, money, and bargains will inevitably create stories.  Stories, by their very nature, were meant to be shared, so pull up a seat, grab your favorite beverage and read along, as I recount these "Tales from the Pavement" for June 21, 2014.  (A sidewalk is a pavement.  Get it?)  I'll be telling these Clamco style, with headers and dividers.

I know that every good tale is enhanced by pictures, but I was so busy all day long that I had no chance to take any.  It's hard to run the whole show by yourself and photo document everything all at the same time.

IF YOU HAD A HAT LIKE THAT ON

Very early on, I had an attempted shoplifting--of a very ugly straw hat.  A hat so tacky that I had not even priced it.  I would not even let it sit on the tables with the other goods.  It was that bad.  I laid it underneath one of the tables, intending to move it up to the top if something else sold and made room for it.

I was helping a couple of ladies when another woman came along, scooped up the hat, put it on, and started walking off with it.  I didn't even notice, but one of the ladies I was helping did.  She started yelling.  "You better get over here and pay that man for his hat!"  She was really loud, to boot.

Since she'd been caught, the woman kind of sheepishly sidled over to me and gave me fifty cents, which was honestly 25 cents more than I would have charged for the ugly thing.  Seriously, that's what you want to steal?

SO THAT'S WHAT IT IS

Another woman and her daughter were going through a stack of enamelware pot lids.  She ended up buying all I had, but when she got to one that was in really rough shape, her daughter said:  "Mama. That one's all beat up!"  Her reply?  "Baby, that's what makes it primitive!"

ALONG FOR THE RIDE

There was this older couple who kept coming back to my tables over and over again.  She'd pick up a couple of items, and we would negotiate a price.  She'd pay me, then hand them to him, and he would start walking off to the car to put them away.  After about the fourth or fifth round of this, he looked at me and said:  "She's in charge.  I'm just along for the ride."  I could tell they had been following that same routine for many years together.

OF COURSE THERE WERE KIDS

By now, you should know what a kick I get out of kids at sales.  (Well, not the ones that make messes and break things, but we didn't have any of those this time around.)  This little boy and his mom picked up a toy off the table that was marked a dollar.  They talked back and forth for a minute, then he came and asked me, with a very serious look on his face, if I would take 90 cents for it.  I don't know if that was all the money he had or if that was all he could get from his mother, but it kind of tickled me a little.  I mean he was so serious about it!  Then he opens his palm and shows me his 90 cents.  I took two quarters out of his hand and told him I would make him a really good deal on it.

SOMETIMES I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON

I got one of those types through in the afternoon.  You know.  Someone who is always right about everything and knows everything and is going to tell everyone all about it.  For the most part, I ignored him.  He kept passing through my area, but showing no interest in anything other than himself and his own opinions about stuff.  How he'd do this.  How he'd do that. Blah. Blah.  Blah.  (by the way, he'd never just sit around on a Saturday trying to sell stuff.  He said so.)

Finally, he picked up an item out of a box that was marked "$2 for all" and offered me $3 for it.

I took the three dollars without a word.  Who am I to correct someone who knows how everything is supposed to be?

Plus, it made him go away!

I can be evil when you annoy me too much.