Monday, December 15, 2014

Monday Rambles

All right folks, I guess it's time to crawl back up in the saddle.  I've gotten several sweet notes recently from many of you, so I need to let you know that I'm all right, for the most part.  Thanks so much for your concern, everyone.  I'm sorry to have made you worry.

I came back from Thanksgiving with a nasty cold, which has really only cleared up in the last three or four days.  I don't understand how I can be doing all these immune-boosting drugs and still get a cold, but I managed it.  That really slowed me down for a while, as I was only venturing out to do what had to be done, then coming home to my NyQuil coma.

The cold was bad enough, but I've also been going through some really hard bouts of fatigue.  This isn't at all like the bricks.  I could function with the bricks, albeit very slowly.  I'm going through periods now where I have no energy whatsoever.  Sometimes, I'll be in the middle of something and will just run out of steam all of a sudden.  Sometimes, I'm down for the count, but usually I can recover if I sit down for a while.  I kept getting swamped this way all through our visit to Arkansas. I spent most of the trip sleeping on one couch or another.

I'm also having these dizzy spells all the time.  Mostly, it's just a constant light-headed feeling. What my grandmother used to call "swimmy-headed."  I can deal with that, but sometimes it's really head-spinning dizzy, often with queasiness.

I have yet to have any of the digestive/intestinal issues, which concerns me a little.  These effects have been talked up so much that I am actually worried that the treatment isn't working because I don't have them.  I know that sounds really weird, but it kind of nags at me.  The other night I told Keith that I would feel so much better if I would throw up just one time.  That look you all most likely have right now after reading that is exactly the same one he gave me.

The booths are running okay, but I am behind on what I wanted to have dome this month.  I keep making plans like a healthy person, forgetting that it takes me twice as long to do everything right now.  I do have most of my Christmas out, and it is selling steadily.  I am almost at my sales total for last December, and I still have half the month to go! One thing I've been happy about is that I've kept my four digit sales total going, despite the diagnosis and everything.

The new store is doing a lot better too.  I made rent this month faster than I have before, which is a good sign.  My Christmas is grooving there as well.  My biggest problem there right now is getting it together to go work that booth.  The other store demands more time because it's a lot more space.  Everything would still be doable if I were operating at full steam.  As it is, I'm having to constantly reschedule store #2 in order to finish up the work for store #1.  All of a sudden, two-three weeks have gone by and I haven't been over there.  That's no way to grow a booth.

I've had to cut way back on my work hours,  I am down to five hours a week, which has bummed me out a bit. I really miss everyone there.  Some people I don't get to see at all ,because my hours are all in the evening now and they're gone by the time I get there.  This is really a life-altering thing. I'm not totally sure that I was fully aware of everything I was slogging through last time.  I have no idea how I kept going.  I have to stop by work this morning and drop something off.  It will be nice to visit a bit.

A long-time vendor has also been battling cancer.  It's been an on-again,off-again fight for years, and it just came back this year.  He's just been told that there may not be anything else they can do about it.  At the same time, a friend where I used to work just lost her husband to cancer.  When I left there four years ago, he was in remission and doing fine.  It's all done such a number on my head.  I don't know where I am emotionally sometimes.  I've had long talks about it with my brother and with Keith.  Some days I am fine,  while others I can't string a coherent thought together.

I had a lot of plans for blogging this December, but I think I'm going to put them on hold for next year.  Some days I really want to, but the words just aren't there.  Other times, the words are there, but the energy isn't.  Hell, even reading takes too much effort some days.  Been watching a lot of cartoons on YouTube instead.  Some things even cancer can't take away.

I was afraid that this post would go downhill fast.  Sorry about that.  If it's all too much of a downer, you don't have to finish it.  I realize that my depression is also coming on hard and fast right now.

Treatment number three is tomorrow.  A week from today, we are leaving for Chicago.  By the end of next week, we'll be married!  Come hell, high water, or cancer, we are getting married. I don't care if I am in a wheel chair.

I'll try to get some pics from Thanksgiving up this week, plus some more overdue junk finds.  It's going to depend on how I feel.  Here lately, when I start tiring, I start lopping things off the to do list.  Taking pics for the blog is always one of the first to go.  Sorry about that.

15 comments:

Roger Owen Green said...

I've missed you, Eddie! But yoiu knew that, because I bugged you on FB.

Pat said...

I think about you often, Eddie and continue to send positive thoughts your way. I wasn't worried that you didn't blog because I figured you were in the middle of "treatment blahs". May I make one small request? Just one or two wedding pics when you get back, even if you don't write a post? Wishing you and Keith every happiness!

Sheryl said...

Eddie, you don't have to entertain us. We understand that when you don't feel well it hard to keep all the balls in the air. Let your friends in the places you have your booths know. Ask them to take an hour of two of your obligations you can always take some of their hours later. Your friends want to help, you just need to let them know how they can help you. Don't feel guilty taking the time to rest your body needs it now.

Sandy in PA said...

Yes, Eddie, I've been thinking of you, too. Take care. You have a friend in Pennsylvania.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Eddie, I'm glad you shared what your going through. We that love you know it's a hard time. I'm so glad that you will be married soon! Sending you a big hug and healing thoughts and wishing you JOY as you fight this cancer with all you've got!

XO
Linda

Joy@aVintageGreen said...

Hi Eddie, come hell or high water you are getting married. Ask friends to help, rest when you need too. Many hugs, positive thoughts,
Joy

Shara said...

Oh Eddie - You are such a strong guy and such a busy guy. You need rest and relaxation. I can't imagine what is going on in your body and even worse, in your mind. We are all here for you so vent. If I lived closer I would work your booths for you! You take care of yourself and WOOOOHOOOOO You are "Goin' to The Chapel"......

Heidi Ann said...

It's nice to hear from you, and even if the subject cannot be all sunshine and roses.
Thinking of you - just take it as easy as you can, and everyone is hoping for the very best for you!!
I'll look forward to your "junk finds" posts, and anything and everything else when you have the time and the energy to post again.
Hugs, Heidi

We are: Clamco said...

So glad you posted. I admit I was worried. I've been trying to find your addy to send you a card, but I lost it somewhere in the move. Bundle up for that trip to Chicago. It's cold up there!

svelteSTUFF said...

THANKS for checking in with us :-) ! I know it is just.one.more.thing to add to your overflowing plate, and a LOT of effort, but we appreciate it!!
Thinking HAPPY THOUGHTS for the two of you next week!!!

laurie -magpie ethel said...

Good to see a post pop up from you. Hang in there, toss off the plate what isn't necessary and focus on what you need to. Thinking of you, good luck, happy holidays, hang in there, positive attitude...etc, etc, etc. POSITIVE THOUGHTS YOUR WAY....

Judy coggins said...

I was worried about you, Eddie. Please eliminate all the unnecessary things in your life right now. Concentrate on you,it's all that's important right now. Save your strength for your wedding! Best wishes to you and Keith....

Your friend from Massachusetts... Judy

Lynn said...

I am sorry to hear this thing is really kicking your butt. The only thing to do is take it easy and do what you can. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!


PS I'm looking forward to a few pictures, too!

Sheryl said...

Eddie, I hope you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday. How's married life treating you? Sending well wishes your way.

rush said...

By this time, you are probably married. Welcome to wedded bliss...a state which I am still in as my wife and I married in October - as soon as it was legal. Now, I understand we will be suffering the "marriage penalty" afforded us by the IRS. Oh, well... So, best wishes on the wedding. I hope all went well with that. I just dropped by to see what was going on. Hang in there. Best wishes in the new year!