Health updates time, everyone!
First the really good stuff:
1. The teats are gone! One of them did not want to pull out as easily as it was supposed to, but it's the same one that had been bothering me from the get-go. It may have actually caused me some pain upon exit and a profane word or two may have escaped my lips as well. But Agnes and the Earth Mother are gone!
2. The stitches and sutures are out, too. I wasn't expecting that this early, but they removed them. The doc says everything looks fine and I am healing nicely. I can go back to work tomorrow.
3. The scar (just in time) has a name. I am calling her Beátriz! It just seems to fit. The Spanish word for scar is "cicatriz" which is a bit to o obvious in this case for me. But Beátriz is close enough to that and it retains the felling I want to go for with a marking I'm going to live with for the rest of me life. Please note that it is not called "Bee-a-triss." It's "Bay-AH-trees"! Who would name a scar "Beatrice"? Please!
4. After getting checked out, we stopped by both booths, which do need lots of work, but were serviceable for a couple more days. We made plans for a shifting of stuff to take place over the weekend. I also found a very tiny bit of Xmas clearance leftover at Wal-Mart. Not much selection, but I've made silk purses out of bigger sow's ears.
Now for the not-so-good stuff:
It's not over yet. Sixtus was indeed a big ole lump of cancerous badness, even though I kept hoping that he might be made out of blueberry muffin or something nice. The earlier inconclusive biopsy had held out some hope that he might have been just a cyst, but it was not to be. Two of the lymph nodes they removed were cancerous as well.
What this means is that, for the first time in this long, strange journey with cancer, I am actually getting referred to an oncologist. I never could do anything any way other than bass-ackward.
I'm being referred to one of the largest cancer centers in the region, one which also has a very strong national reputation. I'm going to be in good hands there. They also happen to have a nationally-recognized melanoma specialist on staff.
As to what the next steps are--chemo, radiation--I'll know more once I meet with the oncologist. For the moment, I am trying to look at this as precautionary (to make sure we got it all) and preventative (to make sure nothing else is going to spread). It makes sense to me to do this. That's the perspective that I am trying to keep right now, at least until I get more information.
I'll let you know what happens.
Showing posts with label Nigel and Sixtus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nigel and Sixtus. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Saturday, January 05, 2013
Post-Surgery Update
I've included a post-surgery shot of the scars and stuff at the end of this post, so be forewarned that it's not pretty. I'm going to try and hide it behind a jump, so we'll see how that goes.
I'm writing this on Thursday and Friday, for posting on Saturday. I've been home since Wednesday, trying to get up and around a bit and take care of some things. I still seem to tire out pretty easily, though. I'm also covered with incisions and such that I'm worried about keeping clean and not infected.
There's not much to write about the surgery, because I don't remember any of it. The last thing I recall is being transferred on the the surgery table and being told to breath deeply. The next thing I remember is feeling groggy and painful. It must have been a hell of an event, though. I've got this huge-ass scar with a ton of staples in it. They're telling me it took five hours, too.
Apparently, there was some kind of slight misunderstanding or misinterpretation somewhere along the line, however. I kept hearing terms like "skin flap" and looking at the areas concerned, and kind of had the idea I was looking at a small-ish scar. I look like freaking Frankenstein Junior!
I have in incision running down the right side of my neck and up behind my right ear, which is swollen to about twice its usual size. (But is starting to go down some.) Most of the scar incision his held together by staples, but I have sutures around my ear.
A large part of the right side of my face is numb at the moment, although the feeling is returning in bits and pieces. There's a chance it might not all come back, due to nerve issues caused by the surgery, but it's too early to tell anything about it. The parotid gland that was removed runs around a key facial nerve, so I was looking at the possibility of serious facial paralysis. Fortunately, that part of the surgery went really well. The right side of my lower lip is a little wonky at the moment, but that is supposed to clear up without any lasting effects.
So what happened during the surgery? Well, apparently, one big-ass slash on my neck, to begin with. They removed Nigel and Sixtus, plus the gland Sixtus was sitting on, plus a crap-ton of lymph nodes. All of that stuff has been sent for pathological testing to see if there is anything else we'll need to do in terms of treatment. I've also got two ports in my chest that are draining even as I type. I am supposed to get those removed next week. Right after that, I'll go back to work. I was supposed to go back Monday, but I have no real way to hide these ports and the bulbs they drain into.
Anyway, I'm still resting a lot, taking anti-biotics, and pain meds, and trying to get my groove back. It's slow-going, but I'm not feeling as badly as I thought I would at this point. I'm going to try to blog more until I go back to work, as I feel better and better. (Pics after the jump.)
I'm writing this on Thursday and Friday, for posting on Saturday. I've been home since Wednesday, trying to get up and around a bit and take care of some things. I still seem to tire out pretty easily, though. I'm also covered with incisions and such that I'm worried about keeping clean and not infected.
There's not much to write about the surgery, because I don't remember any of it. The last thing I recall is being transferred on the the surgery table and being told to breath deeply. The next thing I remember is feeling groggy and painful. It must have been a hell of an event, though. I've got this huge-ass scar with a ton of staples in it. They're telling me it took five hours, too.
Apparently, there was some kind of slight misunderstanding or misinterpretation somewhere along the line, however. I kept hearing terms like "skin flap" and looking at the areas concerned, and kind of had the idea I was looking at a small-ish scar. I look like freaking Frankenstein Junior!
I have in incision running down the right side of my neck and up behind my right ear, which is swollen to about twice its usual size. (But is starting to go down some.) Most of the scar incision his held together by staples, but I have sutures around my ear.
A large part of the right side of my face is numb at the moment, although the feeling is returning in bits and pieces. There's a chance it might not all come back, due to nerve issues caused by the surgery, but it's too early to tell anything about it. The parotid gland that was removed runs around a key facial nerve, so I was looking at the possibility of serious facial paralysis. Fortunately, that part of the surgery went really well. The right side of my lower lip is a little wonky at the moment, but that is supposed to clear up without any lasting effects.
So what happened during the surgery? Well, apparently, one big-ass slash on my neck, to begin with. They removed Nigel and Sixtus, plus the gland Sixtus was sitting on, plus a crap-ton of lymph nodes. All of that stuff has been sent for pathological testing to see if there is anything else we'll need to do in terms of treatment. I've also got two ports in my chest that are draining even as I type. I am supposed to get those removed next week. Right after that, I'll go back to work. I was supposed to go back Monday, but I have no real way to hide these ports and the bulbs they drain into.
Anyway, I'm still resting a lot, taking anti-biotics, and pain meds, and trying to get my groove back. It's slow-going, but I'm not feeling as badly as I thought I would at this point. I'm going to try to blog more until I go back to work, as I feel better and better. (Pics after the jump.)
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Goals for 2013 (Short Term)
Okay, I'm not really writing this on January 1, 2013. Let me get that little bit of truth in advertising over with first.
With any luck, I'm sitting up in a hospital bed, so hopped up on pain meds that I don't know my own name, much less that it's a brand new year. With a little more luck, Nigel and Sixtus are gone, everything under the lump was clean and clear, and I don't have bits of my butt grafted on my neck in their place. If I do end up having all that much luck, then I'm certainly not going to be in any shape to write a blog post.
However, I'm not the only person who finds himself in a state of dubious consciousness on the first day of the new year, which means that I really don't have that much of an excuse for not blogging. I don't believe that any of those revelers in Times Square are waking up this morning and wondering if they have bits of buttock on their neck, though.
Usually during the first week of the year, I like to think about recaps of the previous year and then setting some goals for the new one. I don't always get around to blogging those thoughts, but I do try. Given my current hospitalized and medicated condition, I kind of have a tunnel vision thing going on. 2012 was the year I found out I had cancer and my goal right now is to get out of the hospital and get healthy. That'll have to do for the moment.
Once I'm back in the saddle (sometime before the end of the month), I'll write a little more about the year that was and what I would like to get done in the year to come. How does that sound?
By the way, I'd like to say "thanks" to all of you all who have expressed concern and support to me, either in comments or by private message. I've tried to be low key and nonchalant about this whole damn thing, because the alternative was to drive myself and those around me nuts. I hope that hasn't made it seem like I don't appreciate all of your support, because I really, really do. I've read many of those messages several times over. Thanks for being a part of my life, folks. I'm truly lucky in that regard.
With any luck, I'm sitting up in a hospital bed, so hopped up on pain meds that I don't know my own name, much less that it's a brand new year. With a little more luck, Nigel and Sixtus are gone, everything under the lump was clean and clear, and I don't have bits of my butt grafted on my neck in their place. If I do end up having all that much luck, then I'm certainly not going to be in any shape to write a blog post.
However, I'm not the only person who finds himself in a state of dubious consciousness on the first day of the new year, which means that I really don't have that much of an excuse for not blogging. I don't believe that any of those revelers in Times Square are waking up this morning and wondering if they have bits of buttock on their neck, though.
Usually during the first week of the year, I like to think about recaps of the previous year and then setting some goals for the new one. I don't always get around to blogging those thoughts, but I do try. Given my current hospitalized and medicated condition, I kind of have a tunnel vision thing going on. 2012 was the year I found out I had cancer and my goal right now is to get out of the hospital and get healthy. That'll have to do for the moment.
Once I'm back in the saddle (sometime before the end of the month), I'll write a little more about the year that was and what I would like to get done in the year to come. How does that sound?
By the way, I'd like to say "thanks" to all of you all who have expressed concern and support to me, either in comments or by private message. I've tried to be low key and nonchalant about this whole damn thing, because the alternative was to drive myself and those around me nuts. I hope that hasn't made it seem like I don't appreciate all of your support, because I really, really do. I've read many of those messages several times over. Thanks for being a part of my life, folks. I'm truly lucky in that regard.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Pre-Monday Rambles
I have to be at the hospital pretty early in the morning, so I'm writing this on Sunday. There's still so much to do! I'm getting a little cranky and stressed at this point. I've been eating so much crap that I'm actually bloated and gassy. Stress-eating combined with holiday feasting is never a good idea. Ever.
We went to the big flea market at the fairgrounds yesterday. Keith actually went with me, which doesn't always happen. I had a lot of fun. One of these days, I'll do a Junkin' Memories post about my history with this particular flea. It's kind of part tradition, part junking, part something else for me.
In terms of actual merch hunt, the only time to go the big flea is New Year's and Labor Day, when they have the special antique wing. There are a lot more vendors there and much better chances of scoring. The parking fee at the fairground is just too much these days to go every month, like I did in the old (pre-booth) days.
The antique wing is great for three reasons. First, it's a chance to see a lot of cool stuff in one place. I've always loved browsing the antiques! Second, it's a good chance to do some research and learn about things. Finally, there are the dollar booths! Yay!
There are always several dealers who are dumping a bunch of items that they got in bulk buys, box lots, and estate clean-outs. They've pulled the big dollar items for their stores, which is where they'll make their money. Everything else they sell at a buck a throw, just to get rid of it. Sometimes, there's even overstock from their shops that they're tired of looking at. Nothing is organized, but you can find some great bargains, if you're willing to dig a bit. I'm always willing to dig!
Unfortunately, because of the surgery, I had to go on the first day of the flea market, instead of the last day, which is what I usually do. On the first day, the items are two bucks each, which pretty much cut down on what I could buy. Bummer. I did find a couple of dollar booths, just not as many as there will be tomorrow. I scored this awesome, clear Pyrex bowl for a buck! It's huge!
I'll have a couple more posts on the flea market later in the week.
This afternoon, we headed out to look for post-Xmas clearance. I've had such a sell-through on Xmas stuff that I definitely need a restock for next year. For the most part the markdowns still aren't high enough for me, but Target had just hit the magic number! I got quite a bit of stuff--more than I usually would.
I like to get several small stashes of Xmas from different stores, so that I've got a variety when the next year rolls around. I'm kind of afraid right now that I'm going to miss the big markdowns due to the surgery. If they go low on Tuesday or Wednesday, I'm going to miss out for sure. To be on the safe side, I decided to get a larger stash from target than I normally would. I'll have a little less variety next Xmas season, but Target stuff is nice, so I should be okay.
I've still got a couple of blog post to finish for next week, a couple of YesterNook posts to write for the week, and laundry to do. I know I'm not going to have them on very long tomorrow, but I would prefer to go into the hospital with clean undies.
By the time you read this, I'll most likely be in surgery, unless you're catching this early Monday morning, in which case I'm checking in and waiting for my turn to be sliced. I haven't told Nigel and Sixtus what's going to happen. I want the little bastards to be caught off guard!
Hopefully, I'll be back at the keyboard pretty soon! Take care y'all and be safe this New Year's Eve!
We went to the big flea market at the fairgrounds yesterday. Keith actually went with me, which doesn't always happen. I had a lot of fun. One of these days, I'll do a Junkin' Memories post about my history with this particular flea. It's kind of part tradition, part junking, part something else for me.
In terms of actual merch hunt, the only time to go the big flea is New Year's and Labor Day, when they have the special antique wing. There are a lot more vendors there and much better chances of scoring. The parking fee at the fairground is just too much these days to go every month, like I did in the old (pre-booth) days.
The antique wing is great for three reasons. First, it's a chance to see a lot of cool stuff in one place. I've always loved browsing the antiques! Second, it's a good chance to do some research and learn about things. Finally, there are the dollar booths! Yay!
There are always several dealers who are dumping a bunch of items that they got in bulk buys, box lots, and estate clean-outs. They've pulled the big dollar items for their stores, which is where they'll make their money. Everything else they sell at a buck a throw, just to get rid of it. Sometimes, there's even overstock from their shops that they're tired of looking at. Nothing is organized, but you can find some great bargains, if you're willing to dig a bit. I'm always willing to dig!
Unfortunately, because of the surgery, I had to go on the first day of the flea market, instead of the last day, which is what I usually do. On the first day, the items are two bucks each, which pretty much cut down on what I could buy. Bummer. I did find a couple of dollar booths, just not as many as there will be tomorrow. I scored this awesome, clear Pyrex bowl for a buck! It's huge!
I'll have a couple more posts on the flea market later in the week.
This afternoon, we headed out to look for post-Xmas clearance. I've had such a sell-through on Xmas stuff that I definitely need a restock for next year. For the most part the markdowns still aren't high enough for me, but Target had just hit the magic number! I got quite a bit of stuff--more than I usually would.
I like to get several small stashes of Xmas from different stores, so that I've got a variety when the next year rolls around. I'm kind of afraid right now that I'm going to miss the big markdowns due to the surgery. If they go low on Tuesday or Wednesday, I'm going to miss out for sure. To be on the safe side, I decided to get a larger stash from target than I normally would. I'll have a little less variety next Xmas season, but Target stuff is nice, so I should be okay.
I've still got a couple of blog post to finish for next week, a couple of YesterNook posts to write for the week, and laundry to do. I know I'm not going to have them on very long tomorrow, but I would prefer to go into the hospital with clean undies.
By the time you read this, I'll most likely be in surgery, unless you're catching this early Monday morning, in which case I'm checking in and waiting for my turn to be sliced. I haven't told Nigel and Sixtus what's going to happen. I want the little bastards to be caught off guard!
Hopefully, I'll be back at the keyboard pretty soon! Take care y'all and be safe this New Year's Eve!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Post-Holiday Babbling
Maybe that should be "Inter-Holiday Babbling"?
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. We sure did here.
I got Keith these:
And he got me this:
It might seem like I came out a bit ahead on that deal, but he loved the house shoes! In fact, when he opened the package, he said to me those three little words everyone wants to hear from their partner:
"You're a nut!"
There were other presents, but those are the highlights. I was genuinely surprised by the Nook.
I'm off work until mid-January, so I'm trying to catch up on some stuff and get some rest, at least until my surgery next week. I'm going to try to post every day until I go the the hospital next Monday. I'm going to clean out some old stuff that needs to go up, so I can take the items I'm posting about to the booths.
I need to get out to the booths to tidy, but as long as it's freezing rain/light snow/nasty out, I'm keeping my tubby butt inside. I absolutely cannot get sick right now.
I'm also hoping to go ahead and schedule a few extra posts through the end of next week, so that there is some content here while I am in the hospital. When I get home, I'll do a quick update to let you know how things went. I'm not totally sure how long I'll actually be in the hospital. I'm thinking only a day or two, but my primary care doc thinks it'll be three or four days. Neither the surgeon or the hospital has been very clear on that point, so I'm just playing it by ear.
As soon as I can, I'll put up pics of the scar where Nigel and Sixtus used to be. I'll make sure it's not a bloody mess before I do.
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. We sure did here.
I got Keith these:
And he got me this:
It might seem like I came out a bit ahead on that deal, but he loved the house shoes! In fact, when he opened the package, he said to me those three little words everyone wants to hear from their partner:
"You're a nut!"
 |
| Chiquito liked the house shoes too! |
I'm off work until mid-January, so I'm trying to catch up on some stuff and get some rest, at least until my surgery next week. I'm going to try to post every day until I go the the hospital next Monday. I'm going to clean out some old stuff that needs to go up, so I can take the items I'm posting about to the booths.
I need to get out to the booths to tidy, but as long as it's freezing rain/light snow/nasty out, I'm keeping my tubby butt inside. I absolutely cannot get sick right now.
I'm also hoping to go ahead and schedule a few extra posts through the end of next week, so that there is some content here while I am in the hospital. When I get home, I'll do a quick update to let you know how things went. I'm not totally sure how long I'll actually be in the hospital. I'm thinking only a day or two, but my primary care doc thinks it'll be three or four days. Neither the surgeon or the hospital has been very clear on that point, so I'm just playing it by ear.
As soon as I can, I'll put up pics of the scar where Nigel and Sixtus used to be. I'll make sure it's not a bloody mess before I do.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Merry Monday Rambles
Okay, so I'm going to have to put the vintage cards on hold for next year. At least it gives me a whole fricking year to get the dang things scanned and posted. Works for me.
I spent the last few days of last week, including the dread end of the world day, in the dark with no lights or heat. I was still house-sitting and a transformer blew across the street due to very high winds. The crews worked on it for several days, and the power would flash back on and then cut out again. This also happened to be the time that the temps dropped to true winter levels. Dark and cold. I almost started to believe that the Mayans were right.
I hope everyone is ready for tonight and tomorrow. I finally got Keith's presents wrapped over the weekend. We'll probably go to midnight mass tonight. That's one of our off and on traditions. Maybe Santa will come while we're out. I've been good. Really.
Sales have been strong this month, until the beginning of last week, when they slowed to a crawl. Things picked back up by Friday, though. It did kill the momentum I had built up a little, which is frustrating. Still, I am only sixty bucks off last month's total sales at the Peddlers Mall, and we still have a week to go (but the store is closed tomorrow). I usually have a really good day after Xmas sales total.
Looking back at what has sold, I can make some preliminary conclusions:
Ornaments (new and vintage): MOSTLY SOLD OUT
Wrapping paper: SOLD OUT
Cards: DID NOT SELL WELL
Dishes: SO-SO SALES
Gift Items: 50% SELL THROUGH
I'm not going to end up with too many leftovers to store. The gift items will be left out, just shifted around. New stuff sat good prices is a good thing to have for tax season, which is our busiest time in this business.
My pre-surgery tests went well last week. Nigel finally stopped bleeding and all the bloodwork was good. There was a bit of a scare about my blood pressure, which was waaaaaay high. I've never had blood pressure issues at all, mind you, even during stressful times. The culprit turned out to be the cold meds I've been slugging in my dread fear that I was going to get sick and could not have the surgery.
In other words, my hypochondria-driven preventative treatment designed to keep me healthy enough for the surgery almost made me ineligible for the surgery. The irony, it burns. I went back to my doc on Friday and my bp was normal, so it's full steam ahead. This time next week, Nigel and Sixtus will be gone. I, for one, can't wait.
Happy Merry Ho Ho, Folks!
I spent the last few days of last week, including the dread end of the world day, in the dark with no lights or heat. I was still house-sitting and a transformer blew across the street due to very high winds. The crews worked on it for several days, and the power would flash back on and then cut out again. This also happened to be the time that the temps dropped to true winter levels. Dark and cold. I almost started to believe that the Mayans were right.
I hope everyone is ready for tonight and tomorrow. I finally got Keith's presents wrapped over the weekend. We'll probably go to midnight mass tonight. That's one of our off and on traditions. Maybe Santa will come while we're out. I've been good. Really.
Sales have been strong this month, until the beginning of last week, when they slowed to a crawl. Things picked back up by Friday, though. It did kill the momentum I had built up a little, which is frustrating. Still, I am only sixty bucks off last month's total sales at the Peddlers Mall, and we still have a week to go (but the store is closed tomorrow). I usually have a really good day after Xmas sales total.
Looking back at what has sold, I can make some preliminary conclusions:
Ornaments (new and vintage): MOSTLY SOLD OUT
Wrapping paper: SOLD OUT
Cards: DID NOT SELL WELL
Dishes: SO-SO SALES
Gift Items: 50% SELL THROUGH
I'm not going to end up with too many leftovers to store. The gift items will be left out, just shifted around. New stuff sat good prices is a good thing to have for tax season, which is our busiest time in this business.
My pre-surgery tests went well last week. Nigel finally stopped bleeding and all the bloodwork was good. There was a bit of a scare about my blood pressure, which was waaaaaay high. I've never had blood pressure issues at all, mind you, even during stressful times. The culprit turned out to be the cold meds I've been slugging in my dread fear that I was going to get sick and could not have the surgery.
In other words, my hypochondria-driven preventative treatment designed to keep me healthy enough for the surgery almost made me ineligible for the surgery. The irony, it burns. I went back to my doc on Friday and my bp was normal, so it's full steam ahead. This time next week, Nigel and Sixtus will be gone. I, for one, can't wait.
Happy Merry Ho Ho, Folks!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Monday Rambles
Nigel is bleeding again and I can't seem to get enough pressure on that spot to stop it. It's not like copious amounts of blood, but even just a small trickle of blood coming down one's neck is unsightly and disconcerting.
My pre-surgery tests are scheduled for Wednesday. If it hasn't stopped by then, I'll see if they can put a good pressure dressing on it. To make matters worse, I'm pet-sitting right now, so I'm bleeding in someone else's house. I'm terrified of ruining the sheets or the furniture.
I have no internet connectivity of any kind there, plus my laptop keyboard seems to not want to work, so I am typing this at work. Not sure when I'll get anything else up this week. I have to stop by the house tomorrow and pick something up in the morning, so maybe then.
I tried to make some fudge for a holiday party at the Peddler's Mall on Saturday, but it turned into a disaster. I've been away from the holiday candy-making too long. I hope I haven't lost the touch. I'm the keeper of the grandmother fudge recipes. I have one from each side. Maybe I should just subtitle this one "Fudge and Blood."
My pre-surgery tests are scheduled for Wednesday. If it hasn't stopped by then, I'll see if they can put a good pressure dressing on it. To make matters worse, I'm pet-sitting right now, so I'm bleeding in someone else's house. I'm terrified of ruining the sheets or the furniture.
I have no internet connectivity of any kind there, plus my laptop keyboard seems to not want to work, so I am typing this at work. Not sure when I'll get anything else up this week. I have to stop by the house tomorrow and pick something up in the morning, so maybe then.
I tried to make some fudge for a holiday party at the Peddler's Mall on Saturday, but it turned into a disaster. I've been away from the holiday candy-making too long. I hope I haven't lost the touch. I'm the keeper of the grandmother fudge recipes. I have one from each side. Maybe I should just subtitle this one "Fudge and Blood."
Friday, December 07, 2012
Secret Origins
Continuing the story of Nigel and Sixtus.
I've always had lots of moles. My mom's side of the family is pretty moley. Most of mine are just flat spots of color, but I do have a couple of not-so-attractive protruding ones. Thankfully, those are all on my back. I'm the only one that ever has to deal with them.
The mole that turned into Nigel was one of those flat spots of color on my neck. He was small, light brown, and fairly unobtrusive before he went wild. A couple of years ago, I rubbed my neck while I was sitting around watching TV and noticed some bumps on the surface of my skin that had never been there before. When I looked in the mirror, I saw they were forming on top of this mole, which had grown larger and darker.
I knew about the darker and larger part, but the bumpy was something new to me. People had been asking me about that "dark spot" for a while, but I passed it off as nothing. Somehow, I convinced myself that it always looked that way and was therefore okay. It wasn't until after I noticed the bumpiness that I looked at a picture from 2006 and realized that it didn't look the same. That it used to be small and brown, not big and dark.
I started checking it every few days to see if it was getting bumpier and that was how I discovered Sixtus. My hand strayed off the mole and I felt a small, hard lump under my skin. I thought it might be just a swollen gland, but I couldn't find anything corresponding to it on the other side of my neck. That's when I first realized that I had a problem.
This was a couple of months after Mom died, so the cancer idea was pretty strong in my mind. I'm educated and aware enough to know that all the signs are not healthy and point to something serious. The problem was that I had just lost my job and had no insurance. It may have been a dumb thing to do, but I decided the best course of action for the moment was to keep quiet and keep an eye on things.
I wasn't going to let it go forever. If it had gotten noticeably worse, I would have done something. As things stood at that moment, though, I felt discretion was the better part of valor. I was still sorting out my employment options, for one thing. I didn't want to take any action that would cause this to get labelled as a "pre-existing condition" and not covered by any future insurace policies.
Keith was another concern. I knew how much he would worry about it and I was afraid he would try to make some heroic gesture that we really couldn't afford at that moment. I knew it was very risky, but keeping quiet seemed like the best option at that time.
Time passed. I started getting some decent part-time work. The booths started doing well. I was in a place that really made me happy. I just had no benefits. Nigel didn't really grow that much, although the mole got splotchy and ugly. Sixtus just acted plain weird. Sometimes the lump seemed bigger. Sometimes, it seemed smaller. It was really hard at times and not so hard at others. It was not like anything I had ever heard of.
This past summer, I was able to get insurance coverage through Keith's employer, who added domestic partner benefits. I figured I still needed to wait a few months, to get out of "pre-existing" land. I also picked up a gig with really steady hours and some regularity descended upon my schedule. It looked like things were going to work out and then something threw a spanner in the works.
In September, my neck swelled on that side and turned red. It was warm to the touch and very tender. That was a scary moment and I finally told Keith the whole thing. He freaked out on me, got justifiably mad at me, and insisted I get medical attention immediately. I wanted to hold out until January, just to be safe with the insurance. I also wanted a few months to bank some co-pays, because I knew there would be more than one doc involved.
He would not go for it, so I struck a Faustian bargain with him. I would talk to our doctor about it, if he would make an appointment to get some things seen to that he had been putting off. I am not above a little emotional blackmail. Of course, right after I did this, the swelling, redness, and pain all went away and have never come back.
Due to my schedule, I couldn't see my doctor for afew weeks. After that things happened pretty quickly--referrals, ENT doc, dermatologist, biopsies, scans, more biopsies, consultations, and now a scheduled surgery. After Sixtus comes out, he's going to be biopsied again, and the results of that biopsy, plus what they find when they open my neck up, will determine if I need any other cancer treatment. I'm thinking the surgery will be the end of it, since the scans didn't show that anything had spread. I could be wrong, but I feel like I'm almost out of the woods. I guess we'll see.
The biggest hassle for me right now are the little annoying things. Nigel bleeds a lot, sometimes at really awkward moments. That has been worse since the biopsy. Monday night, I ended up in the ER because of it. It was a totally unnecessary visit, but Keith was insistent. I'm also getting really tired of doctors.
More than once, I've gotten really pissed off by one who either schedules something for me without consulting me, talks to me like I'm an idiot for insisting that everything work around my work schedule, or really seems more interested in getting his cut of the insurance pie. Through this whole process, there have only been two doctors that have taken my concerns into consideration and let me make the decisions. One of them is our primary care doc, who is wonderful. The other, thankfully, is the surgeon who will be performing the procedure.
By the way, the name Nigel comes from the ENT doctor, who biopsied that spot. He kept referring to the "nodule" on my neck, except that it sounded more like "nojul" when he said it. It was a short jump from that to Nigel for me. Sixtus comes from the radiology folks who did the scan and biopsy on the lump. They kept thinking it looked more like a cyst on the ultrasound. My odd brain turned that into "Sixtus" and they both had names.
I've always had lots of moles. My mom's side of the family is pretty moley. Most of mine are just flat spots of color, but I do have a couple of not-so-attractive protruding ones. Thankfully, those are all on my back. I'm the only one that ever has to deal with them.
The mole that turned into Nigel was one of those flat spots of color on my neck. He was small, light brown, and fairly unobtrusive before he went wild. A couple of years ago, I rubbed my neck while I was sitting around watching TV and noticed some bumps on the surface of my skin that had never been there before. When I looked in the mirror, I saw they were forming on top of this mole, which had grown larger and darker.
I knew about the darker and larger part, but the bumpy was something new to me. People had been asking me about that "dark spot" for a while, but I passed it off as nothing. Somehow, I convinced myself that it always looked that way and was therefore okay. It wasn't until after I noticed the bumpiness that I looked at a picture from 2006 and realized that it didn't look the same. That it used to be small and brown, not big and dark.
I started checking it every few days to see if it was getting bumpier and that was how I discovered Sixtus. My hand strayed off the mole and I felt a small, hard lump under my skin. I thought it might be just a swollen gland, but I couldn't find anything corresponding to it on the other side of my neck. That's when I first realized that I had a problem.
This was a couple of months after Mom died, so the cancer idea was pretty strong in my mind. I'm educated and aware enough to know that all the signs are not healthy and point to something serious. The problem was that I had just lost my job and had no insurance. It may have been a dumb thing to do, but I decided the best course of action for the moment was to keep quiet and keep an eye on things.
I wasn't going to let it go forever. If it had gotten noticeably worse, I would have done something. As things stood at that moment, though, I felt discretion was the better part of valor. I was still sorting out my employment options, for one thing. I didn't want to take any action that would cause this to get labelled as a "pre-existing condition" and not covered by any future insurace policies.
Keith was another concern. I knew how much he would worry about it and I was afraid he would try to make some heroic gesture that we really couldn't afford at that moment. I knew it was very risky, but keeping quiet seemed like the best option at that time.
Time passed. I started getting some decent part-time work. The booths started doing well. I was in a place that really made me happy. I just had no benefits. Nigel didn't really grow that much, although the mole got splotchy and ugly. Sixtus just acted plain weird. Sometimes the lump seemed bigger. Sometimes, it seemed smaller. It was really hard at times and not so hard at others. It was not like anything I had ever heard of.
This past summer, I was able to get insurance coverage through Keith's employer, who added domestic partner benefits. I figured I still needed to wait a few months, to get out of "pre-existing" land. I also picked up a gig with really steady hours and some regularity descended upon my schedule. It looked like things were going to work out and then something threw a spanner in the works.
In September, my neck swelled on that side and turned red. It was warm to the touch and very tender. That was a scary moment and I finally told Keith the whole thing. He freaked out on me, got justifiably mad at me, and insisted I get medical attention immediately. I wanted to hold out until January, just to be safe with the insurance. I also wanted a few months to bank some co-pays, because I knew there would be more than one doc involved.
He would not go for it, so I struck a Faustian bargain with him. I would talk to our doctor about it, if he would make an appointment to get some things seen to that he had been putting off. I am not above a little emotional blackmail. Of course, right after I did this, the swelling, redness, and pain all went away and have never come back.
Due to my schedule, I couldn't see my doctor for afew weeks. After that things happened pretty quickly--referrals, ENT doc, dermatologist, biopsies, scans, more biopsies, consultations, and now a scheduled surgery. After Sixtus comes out, he's going to be biopsied again, and the results of that biopsy, plus what they find when they open my neck up, will determine if I need any other cancer treatment. I'm thinking the surgery will be the end of it, since the scans didn't show that anything had spread. I could be wrong, but I feel like I'm almost out of the woods. I guess we'll see.
The biggest hassle for me right now are the little annoying things. Nigel bleeds a lot, sometimes at really awkward moments. That has been worse since the biopsy. Monday night, I ended up in the ER because of it. It was a totally unnecessary visit, but Keith was insistent. I'm also getting really tired of doctors.
More than once, I've gotten really pissed off by one who either schedules something for me without consulting me, talks to me like I'm an idiot for insisting that everything work around my work schedule, or really seems more interested in getting his cut of the insurance pie. Through this whole process, there have only been two doctors that have taken my concerns into consideration and let me make the decisions. One of them is our primary care doc, who is wonderful. The other, thankfully, is the surgeon who will be performing the procedure.
By the way, the name Nigel comes from the ENT doctor, who biopsied that spot. He kept referring to the "nodule" on my neck, except that it sounded more like "nojul" when he said it. It was a short jump from that to Nigel for me. Sixtus comes from the radiology folks who did the scan and biopsy on the lump. They kept thinking it looked more like a cyst on the ultrasound. My odd brain turned that into "Sixtus" and they both had names.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
The Adventures of Nigel and Sixtus
I've picked up two new friends in recent days, so I thought it was about time to introduce them. They've been hanging around a lot and are having quite a bit of impact on my day to day life. Let's start with a photo, shall we?
That multi-colored blotchy thing is called Nigel. I'm not sure if you can make him out or not, but next to him is a kind of lumpy spot. His name is Sixtus. They live on the right side of my neck. Well, Nigel lives on my neck. Sixtus is more like inside my neck. The consensus is that he's made himself comfy on my right parotid gland. He might be related to Nigel, but we aren't sure about that. Nigel, you see, is a malignant melanoma. The red spot is because he bleeds from time to time. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot.
Yes. I have cancer. Even as I type this, feel like a bit of a fraud saying that, like I'm going for the dramatic or something. I know cancer. I've seen cancer. My mother died of cancer. I was there. Keith's brother died of cancer. This is cancer. Me? I've got an annoying spot on my neck that bleeds sometimes.
I'm not saying this out of false modesty or denial or anything else. I know what melanoma is and what it can do, but I feel like just about everyone that knows about it wants to shove me in some kind of a convenient box that I really don't want to be in right now. I think there are other people hurting and tired and sick and worried from this disease or other medical situations, and they are the ones that need attention and concern. Not me. They're the ones who need it and deserve it. I'm just trying to live my life and deal with this thing until it comes off. It's an annoyance and an inconvenience to me, but nothing near the level other people are dealing with.
The coming off of Nigel and the coming out of Sixtus (always knew he was gay) is scheduled for December 31. Happy New Year to me. We won't know for sure how much stuff will be removed with Sixtus until they get in there. The whole parotid may have to come out. Lord, I hope not. I'm also not sure how they are going to replace the skin they remove with Nigel. I fear having bits of my buttocks attached to my neck. Around the house, I'm already referring to myself as a "buttneck."
They've been on the scene a while now, but I have held off on writing about them until now, because I really didn't feel like drawing attention to something that is going to be gone soon. However, they have been really asserting themselves into my life more and more lately and it's getting on my nerves. I needed to start getting this off my chest (and neck). There's more to their story, but I've said enough for right now. I'll continue later.
That multi-colored blotchy thing is called Nigel. I'm not sure if you can make him out or not, but next to him is a kind of lumpy spot. His name is Sixtus. They live on the right side of my neck. Well, Nigel lives on my neck. Sixtus is more like inside my neck. The consensus is that he's made himself comfy on my right parotid gland. He might be related to Nigel, but we aren't sure about that. Nigel, you see, is a malignant melanoma. The red spot is because he bleeds from time to time. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot.
Yes. I have cancer. Even as I type this, feel like a bit of a fraud saying that, like I'm going for the dramatic or something. I know cancer. I've seen cancer. My mother died of cancer. I was there. Keith's brother died of cancer. This is cancer. Me? I've got an annoying spot on my neck that bleeds sometimes.
I'm not saying this out of false modesty or denial or anything else. I know what melanoma is and what it can do, but I feel like just about everyone that knows about it wants to shove me in some kind of a convenient box that I really don't want to be in right now. I think there are other people hurting and tired and sick and worried from this disease or other medical situations, and they are the ones that need attention and concern. Not me. They're the ones who need it and deserve it. I'm just trying to live my life and deal with this thing until it comes off. It's an annoyance and an inconvenience to me, but nothing near the level other people are dealing with.
The coming off of Nigel and the coming out of Sixtus (always knew he was gay) is scheduled for December 31. Happy New Year to me. We won't know for sure how much stuff will be removed with Sixtus until they get in there. The whole parotid may have to come out. Lord, I hope not. I'm also not sure how they are going to replace the skin they remove with Nigel. I fear having bits of my buttocks attached to my neck. Around the house, I'm already referring to myself as a "buttneck."
They've been on the scene a while now, but I have held off on writing about them until now, because I really didn't feel like drawing attention to something that is going to be gone soon. However, they have been really asserting themselves into my life more and more lately and it's getting on my nerves. I needed to start getting this off my chest (and neck). There's more to their story, but I've said enough for right now. I'll continue later.
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