A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Or the blog.

Or whatever.

So I've been a little off-schedule of late.  Maybe you didn't really notice.  Who am I kidding?  Of course, you noticed.  Still, it wasn't as bad as this time last year.  I've just gotten beat out of sorts by life, the booth, and the big picture.  Especially the big picture.

I was really intending to get back on track this week, with an on time Monday Rambles post and everything.  I thought it was all going to work out.  And then insomnia struck.

It happens to me from time to time.  Sometimes, I just can't sleep.  Just. Can't. Sleep.  Usually, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, so I end up messing around on the computer for a couple of hours (if I'm lucky) or the rest of the night.  The general rule for me is that if it hits between midnight and two, I still have a shot of getting a couple hour's worth of sleep.  If it's after three, I'm probably up for good.

Sunday night, I never got to sleep at all.  I was up all night long.

I answered math problems on the computer.  I took a Spanish grammar test online.  I wrote emails.  I took a quiz and learned that, if I were a cupcake, I'd be strawberry with buttercream icing and rainbow sprinkles.  Then I took another quiz and learned that in a past life I was Eleanor of Aquitaine.  (Which really explains a lot, now that I think about it.)  I did some genealogy work, filling in some gaps on my father's side of the family.

In fact, I did everything but actually work on a blog post, for reasons that I certainly don't understand and cannot articulate.(I think it might have something to do with not wanting to mess up my sprinkles. Or maybe it was the regal sounding voice in my head that kept saying, "Eleanor of Aquitaine does not type.  She dictates.")

Anyway, my plan for Monday was to get out early, go to the booth, work for a few hours, head back to Louisville, and then meet Keith at an immigration rally.  However, at the time that I really should have been hopping in the shower, it finally hits me---I'm now tired.  Really tired.  And sleepy.

I probably should have powered on through it, but I'm not as young as I used to be and I haven't pulled an all-nighter in decades.  I was afraid of falling asleep on the bus and waking up in a corn field in Southern Indiana. Eleanor told me that simply would not do.

So I calculated out how long I could lay down and still catch a late morning bus and get a little work in before having to head back. And then I set an alarm and laid down, with Chiquito, and the cupcake and Eleanor.

Being a middle-aged man with a middle-aged man bladder, I had to get up and pee well before the alarm went off.  As I walked through the kitchen to the bathroom, I heard this really faint, really quick beeping sound.

beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep

It's the alarm panel from our old house alarm.  We had to give up the alarm service when we gave up the landline phone a few years ago. The pad is still there, but the battery is supposed to be dead and it's inactive.

For the past few weeks, though, it's been doing this beep thing at odd times.  There have been at least three such incidents.  We have no idea what's causing them, but if someone punches the "off" button, it stops.

I don't have my glasses on, so I lean in really close and punch what I think is the "off" button.

And all HELL breaks loose.

The actual alarm--the house alarm which has been inactive for a long time--goes off.  The house alarm.  The one that's loud enough for the neighborhood to hear.

WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!WHOOP!

It was like that only way, way louder than you could ever imagine it.

Chiquito starts freaking out.  Sprinkles start flying off the cupcake.  Eleanor becomes immediately as nonplussed as only a medieval English queen with a scheming husband and brood of vipers for children can.  And I still have to pee.

And now it gets interesting.

The alarm itself--the part that's making this ungodly racket---is in the corner of the junk room.  The far corner.  And the junk room is, as junk rooms, are prone to be, full of junk.  Literally full.  It's where the booth stuff that isn't in the shed or in storage ends up.

I have been working diligently in recent days at cleaning and clearing it out.  I take a bunch of stuff over to the booth several times a week.  I have thrown a few bags of trash out and gotten some of the rest organized, but it is by no means done.  The infernal, blaring thing is by not the least bit accessible without spending a half day that I obviously don't have moving shit around.

So I, still with no glasses, try punching the old codes into the keypad.  The main code won't work.  The back-up code we gave my mother doesn't work.  The code for the old cat-sitter doesn't work.  Punching it doesn't work.  Trying to pull it off the wall doesn't work.  It won't budge.

I cannot see well enough to find a hammer.

Now, I'm starting to get worried that the neighbors are calling the police.  Who will come to the house.  And see my junk room.  And me.  With no glasses.  In my undies.

Eleanor tells me that it is beneath her royal personage to cooperate with the local constabulary.  Chiquito is nowhere to be found.  The cupcake is curled up in the corner crying and getting those damn sprinkles everywhere.

I have no choice.  I have to brave the junk room.

I decide that maybe I can climb over all the boxes and tubs and get to the screaming thing from hell.  bear in mind that I still don't have my glasses on.  I'm in my underwear.  And I still have to pee.

I set foot on the bottom box of a small stack, thinking that if I can get on top of the stack, I can just kind of roll along the tops of the boxes.  Or something.  Eleanor starts laughing uncontrollably at the thought, but she's being no help, so I ignore her.

As I pull my self up, the bottom box collapses, making the two on top of it fall all around me, scattering stuff everywhere, basically undoing a lot of the cleaning I have done in there.  I manage to keep my balance, but it's becoming pretty clear that I am going to have to pee in the next couple of seconds or my innards are going to pop open.

At my wit's end, I look towards the corner of the junk room and scream as loud as I can:

"WILL YOU FUCKING STOP????"

Believe it or not, that works.  The noise stops.  I go pee.

When I come back Eleanor tells me that a simple "Desist!" would have sufficed.  I tell her to shut her worthless royal ass up, and she huffs out of the room muttering something about having the cupcake for tea.  I haven't seen either of them since.

Then I get to really worrying about the cops.  What if they come bursting in and shoot me thinking I'm some sort of underwear bandit?  Maybe I shouldn't have pissed Eleanor off quite so soon.

So I sit down on the bed, get my phone and start to call Keith.  And the alarm I set to wake me up goes off.  And now I'm just about on the verge of tears.  I call Keith and tell him the whole story.  He assures me the cops won't be coming and tells me to forget the booth and get some sleep.

Which I do.

And the cops never come, which now makes me worry that I have the most indifferent neighbors who would ignore my screams of terror when the serial killer gets me.

And I have been playing catch up ever since.

Now you know why there haven't been any blogs this week.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Eddie-tor's Note:  We contacted Eleanor of Aquitaine to verify her involvement in the incident, but she denied any knowledge of it.  "Do I look like the sort of medieval English queen who would be the past life of a foul-mouthed peasant who runs around in his undergarments?" she said, as she brushed a few rainbow sprinkles off her gown.  The cupcake was unavailable for comment.  Calls to Chiquito went unreturned.  The neighbors wouldn't answer their doors. It is highly possible that these might be the ravings of a madman.

Retro Y'all!

The same video that miscategorized The Knack as a "one hot wonder" also did the same to Dead or Alive.  (See Retro Y'all from two weeks ago.)

Of course, the supposed one hit is "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)."

But they forgot about something!

Wikipedia reports that, while neither song made it into the Top 10, both songs did have a similar level of US success.  "Spin Me" made it to number 11, while "Brand New Lover" got to 15.  That's certainly worth noting, surely.

Retro Y'all! (Inaugural Edition)

Music for Inauguration Day

 This is the only thing I could think of when faced with today's events. 



Steve Earle wrote this song around the time of the 2004 elections, when we were in the throes of the Iraq invasion and staring down a second  Bush term.  It's still pretty applicable today.

Reading for MLK Day

No ramble today.  Instead, I want to point you to a post over at my friend (and better blogger than I will ever be) Roger Green's blog, where he looks at King's Nobel Prize acceptance speech, which is still as moving and thought-provoking as it was all those years ago.

All those years ago.  Heh.  All those years ago, and yet here we are, in the middle of the same goddam struggle, which is heating up yet again.

Today of all days, with Friday's cannon staring us in the face, we need to remember who King really was--not the easy to swallow postage stamp version--but the real King, the man who consistently grounded his actions in an all-consuming, radical belief that we could be better than we are, as long as we grounded our movements for change in unconditional love.

I'm struggling with that last part right now.

We as a country are standing on the precipice of a huge, dark ugliness that must be fought.  We must also take care that we do not become that ugliness in the process.

Retro Y'all!

I watched a video the other day that claimed The Knack was a "one hit wonder."  Said one hit is, of course, "My Sharona."  Immediately, I thought, "Wait a minute!"

What about this one?????

According to Wikipedia, "Good Girls Don't" peaked at Number 11 on the US charts.  I know that's lower than "Sharona" which went to number 1, but, still, right outside the Top 10 is nothing to sneeze at.

"One hit wonder," indeed.

Seriously.

PS Someone mixed the song with clips from a vintage dating tips video.  The result is kind of awesome.  (Do be aware that this uses the so-called "dirty" version of the song.)

Monday Rambles

ALL HEED  THE WISDOM!

That actually explains a lot....

Here lately, this is definitely a necessity.

WEATHER REPORT

So we've gone through a week of freezing temps and snow and are getting ready to go into a week that is supposed to peak at around 70 later on.  Sigh.  Welcome to the Ohio Valley.  Still the warmer weather will give me a chance to do some stuff outside, which is nice.

We've already started making our junk pile for the Feb. set out by the back fence and it's getting a little untidy.  I would like to straighten it up a bit.  Some of the neighbors have already started throwing things on the curb, even though it's early.  We're a bunch of rebels in my 'hood, for sure.  I need a nice day to get out and scavenge.

I'd also like to spend an afternoon at storage making a load of furniture for the booth.  I'm starting to see I've got a good deal of room for some more big stuff.

SPEAKING OF THE BOOTH

I'm just about finished re-stocking.  Sales have been consistent, despite the weather.  I have heard that tat returns will be delayed this year until the end of February, which is worrying.  I really need that sales boost.  At least that gives me more time to prepare.

Today, I have to try and work another bookshelf into the book booth.  I think I have figured out how to do it.  Keith is getting ready to thin his books and has warned me to get ready for them.

I'm on a crusade right now to get the back log out of my house.  We want to swap out my junk room and the bedroom, as the junk room has more closet space.  The bedroom will be turned into a workroom/office.

Every morning before I go the mall and every evening after I get home, I try to get together a box or two of stuff, which goes to the booth the next day.  I'd rather be figuring out how and where to place it there, where it can make some money, than here, where it is just in the way.

AND NOW A WORD FROM MY MOTHER

I've also been going through old boxes of stuff to see if there's anything that I can sell, donate, or otherwise get rid of.  There's just too much crap around here.  In the course of doing that, I found a folder of jokes and clipping and stuff that my mother used to stick in with her letters (remember those?) when I was in college.  I have a briefcase full of those letters too.

Among them all was this gem, which she sent me while I was in seminary.  I promptly taped it to the door of my dorm room.

If you think that my sense of humor is crazy, you should have known my mother.  She was a nut!

JUST CALL ME DOPEY

I forgot to tell you all that I'm on Ritalin now to try and deal with my treatment-related fatigue.  Apparently my fat, old, tired ass has a lot in common with a sixth-grader who can't sit still.  It actually does help a lot, without the side effects I was having with the steroids.  It's not the same kind of manic energy boost, but more of a controlled, sustaining effect.  I do need to take more than one to keep going through the day.  If I miss my afternoon dose, I sure start feeling it!

DVD OF THE WEEK

In three words:  AMAZON SISTAHS HOLLA!

Sadly, there's no throwing wheel action here, but she kicks plenty of mythological ass!  I highly recommend this one and am now super-psyched for the movie this year.

Retro Y'all!

This one seems like a good one to start the year off right!



Did you get a new calendar this year?

Photo Catch Up

So, I stayed in and out of the snow for yesterday.   Sadly, I have to get out in the cold today, as there are booth things that have to be done.  I'd much prefer to stay in and out of it all again.  Oh well.

I managed to get quite a bit done during my mini-sojourn in the warmth, including sorting some photos on my phone.  I had a whole bunch of stuff taken throughout November and December, but never got around to posting.  Despite my best intentions and because of my somewhat less than best efforts, I managed to fall into my standard pattern of spending December overwhelmed and under-blogged.

Or at least, that's the story I'm telling the people.  The truth is far, far darker.

I was in jail for molesting a Wise Man in public at an outdoor church Nativity scene.  Oh, the shame!

Actually, that's a cover story concocted to conceal my activities as Spider-Ed from my enemies.

Or I could just be clowning around as usual.  Take your pick.  The Spider-Man mask is for sale at the booth.  I was testing to see if it really was one size fits all.  By the way, do not that the proper spelling of "Spider-Man" includes a hyphen.

As for the Wise Man incident, we were out at our favorite holiday activity, when I decided that I was finally going to see what those amazing Nativity figures were made out of.  Every year for as long as I have been in Louisville (30 years as of this fall), they've been placed in front of that church.  I imagine they're even older than that, since it would be kind of pretentious of me to assume that they just started using them in honor of my arrival in town.

Turns out, they're blow molds!  I've never seen any like that anywhere else.  They are so incredibly detailed and well made. 

Curb finds!  Some former neighbors of ours operated a restaurant not far from us that was a combination BBQ joint and (over-priced) junk store.  They closed the whole operation down recently and have been placing things out on the curb, bit by bit.  And I've been picking them up, bit by bit.  This was a recent batch.  Like I'm really gonna pass up a feather boa purse!

The little block is filled with craft supplies.  I gave some to another vendor and have been selling the rest.  I got so excited about all this stuff that I almost forgot to pick up a prescription!  Keith actually saw it all before I did and just automatically pulled the van over.  He used to ask if I wanted to check things out.  Now he just stops.

A little bit of my Christmas display.  I hit the vintage flocked reindeer jackpot this year.  Most of them came from one sale where a guy was selling things from his aunt's estate.  He said that she loved Christmas and had 8 trees in her house every year!  She must have used the same set up every year, because all the things I got from that sale were labelled as to where they were put for Christmas.  The white reindeer (love them!) went on the mantle, while all the red ones went on the TV.

I do not know why I'm sideways here, but I can't make myself stop doing it.  Maybe it's the Spider-Ed powers kicking in.  I just wanted to show how much my hair has grown out.  I plan to start rocking the most awesome ponytail you've ever seen soon.  I'm holding that brush because I was interrupted while doing my Rhianna lip sync routine performing my nightly brushing ritual.

Every now and then, I have two cancer treatments in one month.  December was like that.  Lily came to visit during the first one.  She always come right to us and spends the longest time with us. 

The second treatment was on December 27.  Since the center had been closed on the 26th, they had a huge amount of people to see that day.  Instead of going to the usual clinic floor for my infusion, I was sent to a kind of ad hoc treatment room they set up to accommodate the extra traffic.  It was cold and very noisy in there, but we got in and out faster than we ever had before.

If you follow me on Facebook you've seen this Christmas Eve pic, but it's one of the best selfies we've ever done, so here it is again.

And that is as good a note to end on as any!

New Year, New Ramble

Happy 2017, Everyone!  I hope you had your black eyed peas and cabbage and are looking forward to a prosperous and healthy new year.

I'm just going to a do a real quickie update here to talk about the holidays a bit and get back in the groove.  I have a lot of pics and stories to share, plus some finds, but I'll save those for another day.  I've gotten behind on my blog reading again, so I'm trying to carve out some time for that as well.

We're expecting snow tonight and tomorrow, so I plan on staying in if it happens.  I have some cartoons ready to watch, plus a couple of documentaries on YouTube.  I'll catch up on some reading, laundry, blogs, blogging, and pricing too.  Maybe a nap as well.  And hot chocolate.  And pie.  Maybe popcorn too.

Of course, now that I have all that planned, it'll be 76 tomorrow and brightly sunny.  Oh well.  If that happens, I guess I'll go to the booth.  I'm heading there as soon as I finish writing and posting this.  I haven't been over there since the Friday before Christmas.  I finished the bulk of my work and decided I wanted a holiday break.

I had a very good month in December, booth-wise, which was most welcome after a weak fall.  I had more $100+ days in December than I had in the months of September, October and November.  It seems to be holding for the first few days of January, but I'm going to work some magic to keep that going.  Mazda is packed to the gills with new stuff to go over.

One of the things I have to do today is pack up the Christmas, which will free up about five shelving units for new stuff.   I'll leave the vintage Christmas in the booth, but make a new section for it.  It will sell throughout the year.  I'll probably make a shelf for Christmas books and music too, just to keep from lugging that heavy stuff out.

I also need to make room for some more furniture.  I have a load ready to come off the Hillock, but just need a spot for it.  I've sold several larger items recently,  so I just need to reconfigure things to make the space.  Our next junk set out happens in a month, so I need to get ready for that by moving more large items.

Christmas sales always confound me.  After two years of low sales on wrapping paper and Christmas cards, I sold all I had this year.  Wreaths and small trees usually sell very well for me.  I sold one of each this time around.  Last year, I sold no ornament sets.  This year, I sold 3/4's of my stock.  It's always a riddle.  The only things I know I can count on are blow molds and vintage flocked deer.  I sold every blow mold I had except for one, and all the reindeer.  That was almost ten blow molds and about a dozen deer.

Speaking of Christmas, ours was really low key.  We decided not to get each other any gifts, in lieu of buying a new mattress, which we really needed.  We didn't even cook.  We had lunch at Waffle House and dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  In an odd way, that was, for us, kind of traditional.  Waffle House was a my father's favorite restaurant and the place where he would have his own holiday meals.  In the days before we bought the house, Keith and I would take a vacation over Christmas, usually to San Francisco or New York or Chicago.  That always meant we ended up eating out at either an Indian or Chinese place on Christmas Day, since they were the places most likely to be open.  When we got married in Chicago two years ago, we revived the tradition of the Chinese food Christmas meal.

By the way, we celebrated our anniversary Christmas Eve with Mexican food and then watched the wonderful Christmas concert recorded at Berea College (my alma mater) on CBS.  Like I said, it was low key, but wonderful.  I had been working at the booth practically every day all month long, so it was a nice to have a simple holiday.

New Years was celebrated with the traditional visit to the Big Flea.  More on that later.

And now the holidays are over.  Time to get back to work.  And blogging.

Here's to a good 2017 for all of us.  Big, wonderful, sloppy, happy hugs!

PS Don't forget to go to the thrifts this week!  They're still awash with year-end last minute donations!  And Christmas clearances should be up to 75% or even 90% off now.

Retro Y'all! (Christmas Eve Edition)

I'm pretty sure that I have used this one in the blog before, but not as Retro Y'all.  It's such a classic that it definitely warrants a re-post, regardless.

It's also a timeless message that's more appropriate this year than ever, especially since we lost David Bowie in 2016.



Wishing you and yours peace and love.

I hope the fat guy coming down your chimney leaves lots of goodies.  I know a couple of crazy kids who are celebrating their anniversary tonight.

Happy holidays from Eddie-torial Comments, me, Keith, and Chiquito!

PS I'm sending everyone a big, virtual hug.  If you lean in waaaaaay close to the monitor or your phone, then you'll feel it.

Poor Johnny!

So you see, Johnny.

When Santa found out just exactly how bad you've been this year, is head blew right off his shoulders.

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR!!!!

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!

Remember, Kids!

Retro Y'all (Holiday Edition)

Well, it's still Saturday, but just barely.  I've been working every day at the booth this week, which is why there's been no updates lately.  There will be a post tomorrow (Sunday) and a Ramble for Monday.

I'm having trouble finding original performance clips for some of the songs I want to use this year, including this one. I finally went with a photo montage and lyric video, because this song has to be included this year.  Sadly, it's as fitting right now as it was when it was originally recorded, nearly 50 (!) years ago.

Someday...

Poor Johnny!

So you see, Johnny.

Mrs. Claus found out what really happens on those "holiday planning trips" that Santa takes every spring with the Easter Bunny.  What happened next wasn't pretty.

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR!!! 

 

Remember, Kids!

Retro Y'all!

I'm late today because I've been kind of lazing around after a busy week.

This one is really appropriate right now in light of current events.  We need reminders like this.  Additionally, the anniversary of his murder was this week.



There's a longer video here with some interview clips, but it also contains some VERY disturbing war zone footage.

Poor Johnny!

So you see, Johnny.

The North Pole was attacked this week by a bunch of half-crazed, holiday-hating, sword-wielding ninja warriors.  The elves and the reindeer fought back valiantly, but the outcome was never really in doubt.  When you spend your life teaching folks to be good all the time, your self-defense skills aren't always up to par.

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR!!!!

 

Remember, Kids!

Retro Y'all! (Holiday Edition)

On the one hand, it's kind of hard to think about Christmas this year, in light of everything that's been happening.  At the same time, we can't let all the joy be sucked out of the world.  Regardless of what we believe, there is always something at this time of year that can make us feel at least a little bit of hope, if we look for it.  Maybe even if we work for it.

It's with that in mind that I picked this year's "Retro Y'all" and "Music for Mondays" holiday selections.  In some way, they brought me some comfort or at least made me think that we might get through this.   I hope they can do the same for you.

Remember, even silly songs can bring peace.