Eddie-tor's Note: I'm starting an occasional feature (and, really, what about this blog isn't occasional?) here dedicated to various takes on matters theological. Seems fitting for a Sunday. It's the closest to "real" church I get these days. Enjoy.
Welcome to the First Ed-boro Episcabaptecostalicterian Church of God in Jehovah Jesus Christ of Saint Margaret-Mary-Vladimir-Athanasius-Bartholomew in Eternal Holiness and Mercy! We're glad you decided to join us today. If you're new to our congregation, the routine is simple: Stand when everyone else stands. Sit when they sit. Put money in the plate when it passes. You'll fit right in!
Today is a special service here at FEECGJJCSM-M-V-A-BEHM! We have a guest evangelist this morning. The Right-Left Reverend Iris Dement, who is here with a lesson on forgiveness. Take away, Rev. Iris!
And, as a special bonus, here's Rev. Iris on the afterlife:
And that's it this week from First Ed-boro!