Thursday, November 03, 2011

Okay, so what did happen?

If you look back over the course of this blog, you'll probably figure out pretty quickly that I have a history as a hit-and-miss blogger.  I can go for weeks and/or months without blogging, then release a stream of posts.  Conversely, I can be on a roll, posting several times a week for months and then, BLAM!  I'm gone.

It makes it hard for me to build a following, for sure.  It also makes it very hard for me to do any sort of planning or put things in motion.  And, it gives Roger grey hair.  Or it would, if he wasn't already grey.

It's not deliberate on my part.  I can assure you of that.  There are people in this world who have a hard time getting and staying on track some times, and I happen to be one of them.  It doesn't take much to derail me, it seems.  But, it takes a lot of effort to get this choo-choo back on the track once it happens.

Some of it for sure can be blamed on my own tendency to procrastinate.  Yes, indeed, I am one of those people.  The ones you never want on your team or working on your project.  Worse yet, I'm also one of the ones who can pull a rabbit out of his ass at the last minute and get all the attention for it because it's a rabbit in a spangly tutu wearing a rhinestone tiara juggling fiery batons while riding a unicycle backwards and singing Swahili folk songs.  So sue me.

My mother always blamed this whole tendency on my father.  We must have inherited it from him because she was never like that.  You know the drill.  My brother and I have come to believe that we evolved it as a response to a lot of the pressure that she would sometimes put us under.  Classic nurture vs. nature stuff.  Whatever the reasons, at this point, it is what it is, and I'm not likely to be changing out of it any time soon.

Then, of course, there's also my depression issues.  While I've learned to cope with living with depression a little better over the years, there are still times when it's hard to get moving out of whatever inert state I find myself in.  There's only so much that meds and therapy can do, I believe, and I'm probably about as adjusted as I'm ever going to be.  It's not so bad that my day to day functioning is regularly impaired, but I do have my days from time to time.  I've been living with this for a while and have got the rest of my life still yet to live with it.  And it means that some times the focus to blog just isn't there or else the energy that I would normally devote to blogging needs to be put into something a little more important because it's taking everything I have at that moment to get the things that have to be done taken care of.

I don't necessarily offer any of that as an excuse, by the way.  it's just an explanation of the way things are sometimes.

Now, that's all internal stuff.  Sometimes, there's some external factors that pop up to throw everything off course for a while or longer. 

"Like what?" you say.


Like the pet-sitting job at the place with no internet access of any kind that stretched from just after Derby to the end of July with only a couple of short breaks.  The father of the woman that I house-sit for was in the end stages of cancer.

Like the laptop that's having all kinds of technical issues, which is currently preventing me from getting to any of my booth data.

Like the new part-time gig that started for me in August.  I was supposed to split the hours with another person, who flaked out, which left all these lovely hours (and the salary that comes with them) to me!  I'm really enjoying it.  The hours are good and the pay is nice.  It's not a permanent deal, yet, but it might lead to some more work to come.  And it keeps me very, very busy.

Like the secret project I've been working on for a few weeks.  I'll be writing more about it sometime next week, but here's a hint.

So, what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying.  Sometimes, I fail.  Sometimes, I succeed.  For the moment, I seem to be back, so enjoy it while it lasts.  Not even I can tell you how long that will be.

1 comment:

Roger Owen Green said...

"it gives Roger grey hair. Or it would, if he wasn't already grey."


My suggestion is for you, when the muse is on, is to space the posts more often, every two or three days, particularly the ones that aren't time sensitive, such as a video you like. But I'm always glad to see you are alive.