Sunday, March 25, 2012

Special Mission Sunday

Welcome back to Sunday Services here at First Ed-boro Episcabaptecostalicterian Church of God in Jehovah Jesus Christ of Saint Margaret-Mary-Vladimir-Athanasius-Bartholomew in Eternal Holiness and Mercy!  We're glad to see you this morning.  Today we're going to focus on a very serious problem that is plaguing our world.  In fact, this problem is so serious that the church elders have decided that we are going to embark on a five year mission to eradicate it.

The work will not be easy dear brothers and sisters, but I promise it will be rewarding.  It will require much effort on our part here at FEECGJJCSM-M-V-A-BEHM.  Some of you will be going out on special mission teams. Some of you will undergo training for the field.  Some of you will endure many trials and hardships for this very important task.  And the rest of you will be called on to support the effort financially.

Yes, sisters and brothers, this will not be an inexpensive mission to which we are called.  There will be special offerings and fundraisers.  Some of you will bake cookies and serve meals.  Others of you will volunteer for the rummage sales.  And some of you will simply write checks.  Big checks.

And I am convinced that once you all learn of the gravity of this problem, dear brothers and sisters, that you will want to be a part of the solution.  You will want to go.  You will want to work.  You will want to pay.  I know you will.

For no one can look upon the shocking horrors that I am about to show you and not be moved to compassion and action.  No one can see the need and injustices crying out for correction and turn a deaf ear.  You see, dear family, this world is being corrupted by an evil so atrocious that it almost should not be named.  But name it we must, for by naming it we can begin to drive it out into the light of day and confront it with the power of truth and love.  We can only begin to have a better society for our children and their children when we deal with this evil in our midst.

Which evil am I referring to?  Why the persistent plague of....


Here, see for yourself the degradation and depravity of these creatures:

It starts with simple rock larceny in the first degree, but we all know where this is going to lead.  Next thing you know, we're dealing with costumed super-villains!

For the sake of our society and civilization, we simply cannot let this happen!  That is why, dear brothers and sisters, I am announcing this day the formation of our newest mission:  The Penguin Outreach Opportunity Program!

Through the POOP, we will make every effort to intercede with these waddling, flightless miscreants before they sink any further into the depths of their depravity.  Our aim is to show them the way to fulfillment as upstanding, law-abiding semi-aquatic avians.  Together, we can make a difference.

Won't you join our effort?  Won't you be a part of the POOP? 

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